Michael was helping me organize some old pattern books as we worked to finish unpacking into our new place before his parents arrived the next day.  Partway through, he started flipping through some of the books and commenting on him.  This, to the best of my ability, marks his observations on some rather… interesting photos from an old knitting pattern book.  (Side note: please read all comments with as much innuendo as you can muster.  Also, Michael is a bit of an elitist when it comes to schools.  Davidson (our alma mater) is the “Ivy League” of the South, and since the South is better than the North, Davidson is better.  And, lest you argue that Duke is on the caliber of Davidson, Michael will let you know that Duke has neither an honor code or a free laundry service.)

Men’s Book: Skiing, Ducking and Golfing, Just what three guys like to do on a Saturday afternoon.  (Jen’s note: I love how one guy is planning on going skiing, another golfing, and another is just holding a wooden duck.  Put a bird on it! Takes new meaning.)

There, Steve, that’s where we’re going to go.

Hey, wanna see my Sword.  Look at that line of eyesight.  You know what’s going on there.  They’re probably from Harvard too.  Harvard dudes would be like that.

Do I look spiffy in this Cardigan.  He also looks like Pierce Brosnan.

Huh.  He’s totaly from Yale.  Look at those eyes.  He’s like I’m holding a penicl and this is a globe. What are you doing tonight.  And I’m wearing a sweater vest-cardigan thing.  Look at him, he thinks he looks so spiffy.

OOOH.  Zippers, seriously?  That’s funny.  He’s also a Yaleie.  He’s like, I’m going to take your picture, pose for me.  I’m looking good in this sweater/cardigan.

*Laughs*  Nice… rackets you have there.  That’s what she’s saying.  He says, I know, let’s go play with my shuttlecock.  I don’t know where they’re from.,  They’re wearing white, which says southern to me, no self-respecting southerner would pose suggestively like that.  I got it.  They’re from Princeton.

Oh, it’s old man bowling!  I don’t know if he’s actually posing, he looks a little natural.  Strikes every time, with that sweater in his bowling league.

He is totally from Yale.  Just look at thsi face, he’s like, that’s right, birdies, they’re all mine.  Look at the smug cock of his left shoulder. Because he’s wearing that knit/sweater/polo thing.  He thinks he’s all that.

With English accent.  I am sir goodfrey.,  This is my knitted chain-male.  Look as I pose with my helmet with my coquests from the far east.  I think he’d look better with a mustache.

I’m not sure what to think about him.  He’s creepy.  Definitely from Cornell.  He’s just sitting there.  So, I throw the pidgen, will you shoot skeet with me?  Seriosly, who would ever wear something like that if you’re going to shoot skeet?  Obviously if you’re a yuppie going to Cornell you would.

Ooh, here’s one.  Definitely harvard.  He’s like, India. I’ve been to India once.  I saw it on my yaght, well, from my yaght.  I’m going to mark it on my globe as a place I’ve been to.

Harvard’s from Boston, right?  He’s from Harvard, ’cause he’s got ice skates.  He’s like, “want to help me sharpen my skates?”  Plus the cabling on this sweater really makes me go fast.  That and the creases in my pants.

Son, let me show you how to handle a firearm.  Gee, golly willikers, it dad, it looks like you hit him from here.  Up, no more trespassers.

Yey!  We’re so great we’re going to hold a trophy.  Okay, I’m done with this one.